Page Updated on
July 28, 2007
not happen the way you expected them to or wanted them to, but
that doesn't mean that everything is lost when something
What Can I Learn from This?
good happens, I smile, and I ask myself, "What can I learn from
When something bad happens, I cry, and I ask myself,
"What can I learn from this?"
A small question, "what can I
learn from this" can change everything. In that moment, I can take something devastating and
transform it into something with hope. I give it a positive
reason for happening.
Everything Happens for a Reason...Maybe
Think about how negative events resulted in positive outcomes
in our past. Perhaps a death of a loved one resulted in a new
friendship or passion for life. Perhaps a sexual encounter with
an abusive person resulted in the birth of a wonderful child.
Perhaps the loss of a job results in finding your dream job.
Even the worst situations have beneficial outcomes, blessings in
disguise, a reason for happening.
At the very least, that
reason can be a lesson that teaches us to live life in a new way
because every event changes the way we live.
The Reason and Religion
This is where religion comes in, and the debates begin.
If you don't believe in spirituality, then you probably won't
believe that there is a reason for anything; chaos rules.
However, in this case, you get to decide what the reason is.
Make the event have meaning by using it to create a beneficial
outcome. Maybe that benefit won't be for you, but you can use it
to help somebody else.
Some religions teach that the reason is punishment. These are
often the same religions that teach that God is vengeful and
judgmental. This makes sense only if you lack knowledge and
understanding. If your child makes a mistake, a horrible
mistake, you can choose to believe that your child is evil and
punish him/her for the evil deed, or you can choose to
understand what led to your child's mistake. What were the
events that influenced your child? What factors would cause your
child to believe that he/she was actually doing the right thing,
not the wrong thing? What was emotion that he/she was trying to
get by doing the deed (e.g. attention, love, a sense of power,
etc.)? Why was that emotion missing from his/her life prior to
the event? When you answer such questions, you gain
understanding. When you gain understanding, you realize that
there are no bad people, just children who haven't learned a
better way to deal with their situations. You don't punish your
child out of vengeance. You try to help your child learn to make
better choices. You forgive your child and have compassion for
their misunderstanding. I would expect God to have at least as
much understanding as a loving parent, so punishment simply
doesn't make sense as a reason.
Some religions teach karma, but even the nature of karma serves
to help you grow.