Getting Out of Depression: Questions for Kristen
November 24, 2007
I am stuck in the lowest depression that I have ever experienced in my life. Dr. put me on Wellbutrin. Tried other antidepressants, but nothing seems to work. Now I am at a all time low like never before. I used to be so active and enjoyed things that I have no interest in now. How on earth do I get out of this. Drugs are not helping. I have no motivation at all. I just want to sleep! Have to work so can't do that! I feel like I am just existing........ Help!
I know exactly what you are talking about. There were frequently days when I wasn't even motivated to brush my teeth because I was so overwhelmed and in shut-down mode.
Depression can be caused by so many things, but once you're in it, if you aren't motivated to get out, it will just linger on. We need to get you into a position where you decide that you are going to dedicate yourself to getting better. You won't get to that point over night, nor will you fix yourself over night, but you at least need to say "That's it! I've had it. I'm tired of being depressed, and dammit I'm not going to keep living like this. I deserve to be happy, and I'm going to start putting all my energy into getting better."
If you wanted to build a house, you couldn't just sit back and wait for that house to build itself. You have to set aside time every day to work on it, and the same thing is necessary for recovery. It won't just happen, and it's not an easy task. It's work. Some days you'll be exhausted, but once in awhile, you'll stand back, look at what you've done, and smile at all of the progress you've made. Those days will come more and more often as weeks go by. Finally, you'll have a house, and suddenly you'll realize that all of your work was worth it. So, it's time to build your house of joy and live in it.
I recommend reprioritizing your life. Let the housework build up, and stop feeling guilty about it. You're not a bad housekeeper, you're just putting your energy into something more important. Don't worry about the hobbies. You'll either start enjoying them again when you're ready, or you'll find new hobbies. it's not a big deal. Right now, you can spend that extra hobby-less time on your emergence back into life. Do what you have to do to get by at work, but focus on getting better. That's your new role in life, your new purpose, healing yourself.
First of all, you deserve it, so don't feel selfish. Would you feel selfish for wanting to breathe? No, of course not. You need to breathe, and you need to recover and feel joy as well.
Second, others deserve a healthier you. Would a lawyer feel selfish for going to law school? Would a doctor feel selfish for going to med school? Of course they wouldn't because they're training to be better at what they do. Likewise, when you train yourself to be a better, happier person, you'll be better at everything you do, whether it be at work, at home, in your family, etc. You're just a better person in training.
So if you're ready to start doing something, anything, to move forward, start by reading my article, Escaping Depression.