July 2006, Weight Loss Journal
Updated November 24, 2007
3 July 2006
Weight: 176 (lost 24 lbs.)
BMI: 32.2
I happily lost that pound that I gained last week. I'm back on the right path.
I've been paying more attention to how I'm eating, and I've been careful to eat only for nutrition, not for emotional comfort, nervousness, or entertainment. I'm back to my usual menu.
Breakfast: Raisin bran with soy milk and green tea (I usually end up drinking many cups of green tea in the morning)
Lunch: Sandwich (usually with lots of spinach or lettuce), soup (with lots of vegetables), or small amount of leftovers from a previous dinner and water
Snack: Chocolate soy milk, cheese and crackers, fruit, or some other goodies under 400 calories
Dinner: Whatever everyone else is having, but I pay attention to my portion size and water
For exercise, I've been walking every day and doing yoga several days a week.
Even though I feel more energetic in the evening lately, evening workouts are just too easy to skip. Finding an excuse to skip an evening exercise is far too easy: I'm too tired; I've got things to do, and I'll exercise later; I have to go somewhere, so I'll have to skip it tonight; It's too late, and I don't want the mosquitoes to get me; It's too hot; etc. This week I'm going to try to go back to exercising in the morning.
When I make it a priority to exercise in the morning, I just wake up (already wearing my workout clothes because I sleep in them), stumble into the living room, put on my shoes, get the kids' breakfast ready, stumble out the front door, turn on my music, and walk. Once I'm feeling more alert, I spend my walking time thinking about things I need to do, brainstorming for projects, listening to the lyrics of the songs, and enjoying the outdoors (even bad weather is something to enjoy). When I'm done, I have the satisfaction of knowing that I've accomplished some thinking-time for the projects I'm working on, finished my minimum exercise requirement for the day, had some time to myself (away from the kids and housework), and feel more alert than if I had just filled up on caffeine. It's an ultimate multitasking activity.
Now I just need to keep this up and hope that I see another pound disappear next week.
10 July 2006
Weight: 176 (lost 24 lbs.)
BMI: 32.2
Well at least I didn't gain any weight during this last week. I hate feeling stuck.
I hate feeling like I'm failing to make progress because it makes me feel like I've failed my weight loss efforts completely. I know that's not true. My highest weight was 230 lbs. while I was pregnant. I hovered around 200 to 210 lbs. after my last pregnancy. I was 200 lbs. when I started my weight loss efforts. Now I'm at 176 lbs. I weigh 10 lbs. less now than I did when I got married. I am making progress. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
One of the things that's holding me back is my guilt. When I exercise, I like to exercise alone. I like to think about life. I don't want to talk. I don't want to compare myself to my workout partner because it would discourage me. It's time for me to just relax and recharge, so I can be a better mom and wife when I get back to the house. Exercising alone, though, means that I'm going to spend time away from my family.
My husband wants me to spend more time with him, and I've been noticing that I've skipped workouts because I feel guilty about walking out the door. The only time that I can exercise alone is early in the morning and after he comes home from work in the evening. Morning workouts are becoming a challenge because I'm staying up later partly because of the longer days and partly because I'm trying to spend more time with my husband while the kids are asleep. By the time I fall asleep it's often midnight, and waking up at 6am just isn't going to happen. If I walk out the door as soon as he gets home, I feel like I'm ditching him and dumping the kids on him (but in reality I do need a break after being with the kids all day, so I know that I deserve to walk out that door). Then, when I don't get out to exercise, I feel resentment toward everyone for needing me to hang around, so I end up not enjoying my time with them.
I need to make my exercise a priority again. I can't let myself get sucked back into the self-sabotage guilt trap.
I'm going to just go for a morning walk even if it's only 5 minutes long (but I'm going to try for longer).
I'm going to do my weight lifting and stretching while I watch my favorite television show every day (in fact, I'll make that a rule...If I want to watch my favorite show, I have to be exercising).
I'm going to get out for a walk right after dinner even if I feel guilty about it. When I finish, I'll play outside with the kids then get them ready for bed, get myself ready for bed, and spend an hour or two with my husband before I go to sleep. I'll just make sure I do all of the things on my to-do list during the day, so I'm not trying to do them in the evening.
17 July 2006
Weight: 175 (lost 25 lbs.)
BMI: 32
Back to 175! Finally, I moved off of 176. If I end up at 174 next week I think I'll cry with happiness.
So here's what I did. I made deals with myself.
Weight Lifting Deal: No weight lifting = No favorite TV show
I can watch my favorite TV show if I do my weight lifting followed by stretching while I watch the show. I have to watch it in the morning, so other things don't get in the way, but I can watch additional episodes in the afternoon if I want. I must say, working out while watching the show makes my workouts go much faster and much more interesting. It's definitely better than watching workout videos.
Lunch Deal: No big salad = No cheese sandwich (not even a little bite)
I can eat all of my favorite lunch foods (proper portion sizes of course), but I need to eat an entire salad first. I fill up my bowl with baby lettuce and spinach, sprinkle on some with nuts (need that protein), throw on 2 tablespoons of my favorite dressing of the day, top it all with just a tiny little bit of something crunchy and flavorful (croutons, fried chow mein noodles, etc.) By the time I finish my salad, I'm usually so full that I dont' want anything else.
Music Deal: No walking = No favorite music
If I want to listen to my favorite tunes, I must stick them on my MP3 player, get out the headphones and go for a walk. My husband makes sure I stick to this one by insisting when I walk in the door that I turn the music off or get back out and keep walking. Listening to songs that I absolutely love are great. "I'll just keep going to the end of this song. Oh wait, I like this song too. I want to listen to it. Ok, I'll walk a bit more."
House Cleaning Deal: No chores done = No pleasure reading
I love reading good books. I'm rediscovering many stories from my youth (read them again as an adult; it's amazing how the stories get better as you get older), and I'm finding new books in the process. If I want to read them, I must clean the kitchen, do the laundry, and tidy up the living room first. I'm often so eager to get to my stories that I work up a sweat while doing my chores.
I'm trying to figure out new deals to keep me on track. I'll be sure to let you all know what I come up with.
31 July 2006
Weight: 177 (lost 23 lbs.)
BMI: 32.4
I spent this last week on vacation, camping in Yellow Stone. It was wonderful, but it involved a tremendous amount of driving (and not nearly as much hiking as I had hoped because the kids just whined constantly about how they didn't want to hike), which means I spent a tremendous amount of time sitting. Also, on long drives, I tend to find myself snacking out of boredom. Plus, we ate out at restaurants several times. And the result of my lack of weight loss dedication for one week--I gained 2 pounds.
I honestly don't have the "why oh why" feeling about gaining those two pounds. I know exactly why I gained those two pounds, and now I have to get back to my real lifestyle of controlling my portion sizes and exercising. Eating those daily lunch salads will be easier now that we have a garden filled with delicious butter lettuce. I'm doing my daily walks (something I hesitated to do alone in bear-country during the last week). Plus, I'm getting right back to the weight lifting and yoga while I watch my favorite shows.
I admit that I wish I could just take a pill and lose all that excess fat forever. I'm honestly tired of having to think about my weight. It gets old, and that "I don't want to do it anymore" stage is when I normally give up, but not this time. I'm going to push through this stage, and I'm sure that I'll come out of it with a new outlook on life. I have to keep reminding myself that this is a lifelong journey. I there is no finish line. I will have to pay attention to how I eat and exercise for the rest of my life unless I want to be fat, unhealthy, and miserable. I still get to enjoy all the foods I love; I just eat less of them. I'm learning to love my exercise activities, too. (I crave my daily walks now. I sincerely missed them when I was on vacation.) I'm sure it won't be long before my new lifestyle becomes my normal lifestyle, and I'll probably feel uncomfortable if I go back to a bad lifestyle.
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