March 2008, Weight Loss Journal
17 March 2008
Clothing Size: 14
It has been a couple of months since I've written in my weight loss journal. I was just tired of focusing on weight loss, and I slipped back into bad habits, such as not exercising enough, eating just one more bite (and then another and another), and giving into emotional eating.
I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm going to balloon back up to the 200's. I'm scared that I'm going to be a size 20+ again. I'm scared that I might hit that morbid obesity BMI mark again, 40. I'm scared that I'm going to become a diabetic or develop cardiovascular disease from the excess weight. I'm scared that I'm going to spend my life feeling fat, ugly, and tired, and I'm scared that my life will end far too soon. I'm scared that I'll be a poor example for my kids and doom them to a life of poor health. I'm scared that I won't be able to run or climb or carry both of my kids at the same time during an emergency. I'm scared that I won't be able to carry or drag my out of the way of danger if he falls unconscious while our house is on fire. I'm scared that I'll never feel pretty. I'm just plain scared.
In January, I promised myself that I would start getting serious about losing weight again. It was my new year's resolution. I would start and stop, start and stop, until finally the stops seemed to last longer than the starts.
So now it's March. I just had my birthday (I'm 32 years old now). My birthday is like another new year's resolution motivation. Unlike January 1st, though, it's not just a new year on the calendar. It's a new year of my life. I don't want to waste the years I have left. I want to have more energy. I want to stand taller. I want to be stronger. I want to run further. I want to look better. I want to feel proud of my body and of myself for taking care of my body.
Health is the foundation of happiness. Without a healthy body, you can't have a healthy brain. Without a healthy brain, you can't have a healthy mind. Without a healthy mind, you can't fully create an experience fulfilling happiness. No health = no happiness. I want to be happy, so I need to get healthy.
I've spent the last week preparing myself to exercise again. I've been doing yoga stretches and gentle strength training poses. Today, I started lifting weights again. It felt wonderful to lift weights after doing yoga. I used to do yoga last for cooling down, but by doing yoga first, the yoga warmed me up and gave me a sense of focus that endured throughout my weight lifting routine. I'm now promising myself to do yoga and weight lifting every day to rebuild those healthy habits.
I'm also promising myself to write in my weight loss journal again every week. Since I stopped writing every week, the weight has crept back on. (I'm scared to get on the scale to find out how much has come back.) So it's the return of the Monday weigh-in and journal entry.
I'm going to get down to 145 and I'm going to do it this year. I'm going to do it before my 33rd birthday. I promise myself.
24 March 2008
Clothing Size: 14
Weight: 179
BMI: 32.7
So I got on the scale today for the first Monday weigh-in after my "break" from logging my stats. I was seriously disappointed with myself. I think the majority of my problem has been restaurants. I've been eating at lots of restaurants lately. I usually cut my food into normal serving sizes and ask for a to-go box right away, but I never know what exactly is a serving size when it comes to restaurant food. Most restaurants don't have nutritional information on their food (at least restaurants that don't sell fast food don't), and they tend to be reluctant to give you the secret recipe, so you can't calculate the data yourself.
Yoga is a good start to the exercise routine. It gets me up and moving, but it isn't enough. This week I'm promising myself to do 15 minutes of cardio and 15 minutes of weight lifting as many days as I can.
I'm thinking about starting a food diary again. Honestly, I hate keeping track of all the food I eat, but I think it may be necessary.
31 March 2008
Clothing Size: 14
Weight: 178
BMI: 32.56
If I want to get down to 145 pounds before my next birthday, I'll have to lose about 1 lb. per week.
I lost a pound this week, so that's a good start. I cut down my restaurant use, and when I do go to a restaurant, I order a soup and salad combo with a serving of bread. I didn't do my exercise every day, but I did do half of what I had promised myself, and that is certainly better than nothing.
I know what I have to do to lose the weight. The cardio does burn calories during the workout, but I can't send my entire day working out. I have to build muscle. Muscle burns calories even when I'm sleeping. The more muscle I have, the more calories I burn. The reason I plateaued was because I stopped lifting weights (I lost a pound per week when I was lifting every day), and that plateau led to discouragement, and my discouragement led to quitting, and that led to my gaining back 10 lbs. I'm not going to go back to being the fat lady, though. I'm not going to let myself creep back up.
I'm rescheduling my day to ensure that my strength training will get done every day. I wake up, make breakfast for everyone, eat breakfast while watching the morning news (I'm always multitasking), do 15 minutes of power yoga, do 15 minutes of weight lifting (or as long as my weight lifting routine for the day requires, but never more than 15 minuets), and then get dressed for the day. When I think about it as 15 minutes, it doesn't seem overwhelming. I don't have to think about how I don't have enough time or that there's something more important to do first (which is what I tell myself with my 1 hour walks). 15 minutes is something I can fit in while watching TV, taking a break from my work, playing with my kids, etc. 15 minutes is not a big deal, but what I do in those 15 minutes can make a huge difference in my life.
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