Who's Kristen Brooke Beck?
(a.k.a. Kristen Beck / Kristen Helmer)
Updated January 29, 2008
"I'm not an expert in anything; I'm just a student of everything."
The Summary
My name is Kristen Brooke Beck (formerly Kristen Helmer). I'm a wife, mother, business owner, writer, artist, photographer, computer geek, amateur scientist, eager learner, vegetarian, nature-lover, and humanitarian activist.
Most importantly, I'm happy.
I wasn't always happy. In fact, I used to be so unhappy that I was often suicidal and self-destructive. Anxiety kept me from doing the things I truly wanted to do in life. Anger led me into fits of rage that often ended with breaking things or hurting myself. And depression left me wondering why I should bother to go on. Even when things were going well, I still felt miserably empty and afraid. I thought that some people were just blessed with happy lives, and I wasn't one of them. I was wrong.
Over the years, I learned that happiness isn't something you wait or hope for. It's something you create for yourself. You don't need to travel to distant lands to find it. You don't need to seek gurus or ancient books of wisdom either. You don't even need to pay for expensive self-help programs. You just need to learn some practical beliefs and behaviors that make life easier and happier. The things I have learned have transformed me into the person I want to be. I make a living by doing things that I love. I'm surrounded by people I love (my humorous and compassionate husband, my giggling children, my friends, and my pets). I've set myself up to reduce unwanted stress in my life. I'm a contributing member of my community. I'm enjoying life just as it is. And, even when the big tragedies strike, I have faith that things will always work out in the end.
Now I'm on a mission to teach what I've learned to others, help them pull themselves out of depression, anxiety, anger, and overwhelm, and show them how they too can have the happy lives that they want. That's why Kristen's Guide is here.
(To learn more about my daily life and thoughts, check out my online diary http://kristenbrookebeck.blogspot.com/ .)
The Details: Answers to Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) about Kristen
How old are you?
I'm in my 30's.
Where are you from?
I've lived in a variety of places in California during the first twenty-five years of my life. I spent the majority of my childhood and all of my adolescence in Joshua Tree and Yucca Valley, two small desert communities near Joshua Tree National Park and the Twenty-nine Palms Marine Base. The Mohave desert was where I learned to love being in nature, learning about science (especially astronomy since the desert night sky is so beautiful), and creating art, music, movies, comedy, and writings (because there really wasn't all that much else to do out there).
I now live in a suburb of Portland, Oregon in the U.S.A. I absolutely love it here. Portland is filled with friendly, rain-loving, bicycling, outdoorsy, art-loving, intelligent, open-minded people. It is also surrounded by beautiful scenery (and we try to keep it that way).
What issues are most important to you?
I'm primarily concerned about children's rights, improving education, human rights, animal rights, environmental protection, mental health, physical health, separation of church and state, and avoiding war.
- United Nations: UN (http://www.un.org/)
- United Nations Children's Fund: UNICEF (http://www.unicef.org/)
- National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (http://www.missingkids.com/)
- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals: PETA (http://www.peta.org)
- Union of Concerned Scientists (http://www.ucsusa.org/)
- American Federation of Labor and Congress of Industrial Organizations: AFL-CIO (http://www.aflcio.org/)
- Mental Health America (http://www.nmha.org/)
- Americans United for Separation of Church and State (http://www.au.org)
What experience do you have in ... ?
Mental Health
I grew up in a family plagued by mental health and addiction problems, so I know what it's like to be in the middle of it. As for myself, I've suffered through anxiety, depression, rage, self-cutting, eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, co-dependency, low self-esteem, postpartum depression, and panic attacks. While I'm not cured of all of my issues (a few pop up from time to time), I have been able to manage them, so that they minimally impact my life.
Relationships / Friendships / Romantic Partnerships / Family
When it comes to dealing with people, I've had a variety of healthy and unhealthy relationships. I've been the outcast, and I've experienced popularity. I've been cheated on, and I've been the cheater. I've been abused, and I've been the abuser. From friendships to family to romantic relationships, I've certainly had my share of it all. I am now happily married to my best friend, a man who is the most wonderful husband I could have ever asked for. I also have the joy of having true friendships and the self-esteem that comes from having healthy boundaries.
Pregnancy / Parenting
I've been pregnant three time. I had one medically dangerous pregnancy, one healthy pregnancy, and one miscarriage. I have two smart, beautiful girls. They are the most important priorities in my life. (I love them more than anything.) I've also had a tubal ligation and am considering adoption in the future. In preparing for parenthood, I studied child development and parenting before I had children, but nothing prepares you for reality like a good dose of reality. I've learned more about myself and human nature through parenting than through any academic program or therapy. So far, my children are emotionally balanced and have excellent self-esteem, self-respect, and self-confidence, which in my book is a huge sign of success.
Teaching / School / Education
Getting good grades was always my way of trying to be special, so I studied a variety of ways to increase my ability to learn information and manage schoolwork. I decided to put my talent to work by becoming a teacher. As I prepared to become a teacher in college, I worked in a variety of classrooms at the elementary school level. I also did tutoring. I ultimately decided to put my teaching career on hold, so I could stay home while raising my kids, but I still keep up on education theories and curriculum practices. Through all of it, I've learned that everybody has the ability to learn; you just need to figure out how your brain learns new things.
Running a Home-Based Business
I've served as everything from below-minimum-wage domestic labor to well-paid management in Silicon Valley, but the entire time I was working for employers, I was also trying to figure out how to have my own business and be my own boss. I've sold health supplements, did odd jobs, started a virtual secretary business, had a resume writing business, tutored students between the ages of 5 and 55, took care of kids, tended to yards, and studied every book and magazine about entrepreneurship that I could find. Finally, I decided to stop focusing on what I could do to just make money and started focusing on doing things I loved: writing, designing documents, teaching, coaching, and art. I gradually learned how to blend them all together into my most lucrative business so far. I'm also a mother, which means I've had to figure out how to manage a home office and a house full of kids at the same time.
Physical Health
I firmly believe that optimal physical health is a key ingredient to a happy life. After all, the brain is an organ just like the stomach or the heart, so it needs to be fed healthy foods, exercised, and given the best possible conditions to grow. In my efforts to increase the happiness in my own life, I've learned that physical health and emotional wellbeing go hand-in-hand. My diet and exercise have direct effects on my mental health. I've also struggled with obesity my entire life (my highest weight was 100 lbs. over healthy). I realize the importance of maintaining a healthy weight because I've watched how it has affected other family members, and I've personally experienced many weight related challenges myself. I've also seen family members suffer from a variety of other medical conditions (e.g. diabetes, cancer, heart disease, hormonal problems, etc.), so I've seen how important health is in improving the quality of life. I've dedicated myself to improving my own health, and I love letting others know what I've learned along the way.
What formal education do you have?
Formal education is about getting more than a piece of "I did it" paper. The educational experience (e.g. dealing with peer pressure, working with difficult teachers, meeting inspiring people, etc.) truly changes who you are. So instead of just giving you the list of degrees, here's a summary of my overall educational experiences.
Preschool
I was only there for a short time. I vividly remember cookies, milk, a bunch of cranky old ladies who yelled at me while they sat in in a big brown chair, and lots of kids throwing tantrums.
Elementary School
I went to several elementary schools. The first was lots of fun. At the second, I learned what it was like to be bullied by nearly ever kid in my class, the after-school kids, the teachers, and the kids in my neighborhood. At the third, I got a finalist ribbon in a school writing festival, and then I was hooked. I decided that I was going to be a writer and began writing whatever I could whenever I could. I also spent hours playing my clarinet and keyboard and was convinced that I would become a famous musician. This was also when I started my addiction to computer programming by playing with my Texas Instruments 94/A computer (the kind that hooked up to your television and used cassette tapes to record programs).
Junior High
This was when I lost my baby fat (by starving myself) and started getting noticed by boys. I spent most of my time hanging around guys, goofing off in the computer lab, playing in the school band, and writing music and lyrics. I even wrote some bad teenage romance stories.
High School: Diploma (Honors)
I took honors, advanced placement, college prep, and business classes. High school was all about getting good grades, tutoring other kids, developing employment skills, and trying to find boys who loved me. I wasn't a popular kid because I was rather shy, nerdy, and annoying, but I did manage to have quite a few friends, many of which were misfits themselves. It was here that I decided that I would become an English teacher, so I could combine my love of writing with my love of teaching.
Community College: AA in Liberal Studies (High Honors)
In addition to general education, I studied psychology, computers, and literature. Community college was the place where I learned that it was OK to come out of my shell (even though I did lots of stupid things in the process) and that older people were often a good source of wisdom. It's also the place where I decided to become a science teacher since I often enjoyed science classes much more than English classes. And this was also when I met my best friend who became my boyfriend and eventually my husband.
Correspondence School: Certification in Freelance Writing
This was a program that taught me about the professional writing industry and took me from the "I want to be a writer" dream to actually getting paid to write. I started this program in community college and didn't finish until half way through my university program.
University: B.A. in Natural Science (Cum Laude and Phi Kappa Phi Honor Society)
Natural science is about subjects like physics, astronomy, geology, zoology, botany, chemistry, biochemistry, environmental studies, etc. This was also a major for teachers, so I studied lots of education theory, child development, and curriculum (which was the perfect preparation for being a parent), and I also did a couple of years of student teaching, classroom volunteering, and science instruction. The intense science studies coupled with classes about religion and philosophy completely changed the way I viewed the world. I started trying out different religions and obsessively studying religion and history. (I finally settled on being a happy agnostic.) I also started taking classes, like drama, that would help me break out of my shy personality. When I had free time I was hanging out at comedy clubs and building websites.
...by Feed